You’re always smiling.
I’m always happy –
Except it is the structure of my face.
A mouth-breather,
Big teeth and pink gums and skinny lips
Flashing the bright flag of welcome
I always thought they were.
Joy because Joy is in my name
And it is in my spirit,
And it is in my body,
Literally my body –
Jaw misaligned
Shallow neck
Sucking in
And exhaling
Without filter.
I’m always smiling
Because Joy is in my name.
And I was taught there’s
Always someone more worse-off.
And privilege has been served
To me on a silver platter –
Where I can see my face there
Smiling.
Do I keep caring
What’s in a name?
Has my reflection
Served me well?
Certainly me and
Others noticing
How happy she must be.
How happy I must be.
Not always, I can say now,
Teeth still bore.
It’s just harder
For me to hide them,
Why the lines around
There are more worn.
Of all the self-diagnoses
There’s been none
More integral to self:
Were genetics
Or my choices –
Joy’s greatest help?